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Rev. Dr. Delesslyn A. Kennebrew, J.D., M.Div.

Visionary Strategist Faithful Innovator Inspirational Essayist

Salvation and Stilettos Blog


#100PoundsofExcuses: Girdles are Optical Illusions

Posted on October 3, 2016 at 7:23 AM Comments comments (0)

I wrote a little bit about Mondays last week so I will not do that today.  I am sure that I will come back to talk about them again in the future because they just seem to be so significant in this whole weight release process.

Today, I want to talk about an Optical Illusion.  First of all, I want to define the word illusion for you. An illusion is a deceptive appearance or impression, a false idea or belief.  And I will be very transparent with you, as soon as I wrote that definition, knowing the direction I am going with this blog post, my eyes welled up with tears.  For you see, the item of deception that I and so many women have worn for way too many years to count is the GIRDLE.  YES, I said it.  GIRDLE.  And whether we wear a minimum or medium or maximum support girdle, it matters not.  Whether we wear the shirt girdle or the thigh girdle or the panty girdle or the all over girdle, we are all deceiving ourselves and giving a false impression to others.  Forget the goals of the girdle to minimize the jiggle or create smooth lines, the girdle is an item of deception until one day, you take a second look, and you painfully realize that you are only deceiving yourself.  Yep!  That happened to me.  I looked at a picture one day that had been taken while I was wearing one of those all over maximum support girdles and all of a sudden a lightbulb went off in my head that the optical illusion I was trying to create did not work.  My heart was broken.  For now I knew the truth that the false self I attempted to project by hankering down on my body's rolls and enduring hours of discomfort for people who still saw me as the thick sister that I am, did not work.  The girdle had deceived me and exposed me at the same time.

Friends, I remember some years ago now, when I lost weight and I stopped wearing girdles.  Oh, the Freedom!  I vaguely remember the confidence I had to wear whatever I wanted to wear without the undergarment that had suppressed me under a countless number of outfits.  I remember when I could just avoid the girdle strategy as an optical illusion to the eyes of others by creating a false silhouette and I was so proud.  But, my friends, that was several years ago now and I am back to the girdles.  Honestly, as I am on this journey of weight release, forget the numbers on the scale! I want to get to the place where I can go girdle-less!  LOL!  I know that sounds crazy but I want to stop perpetrating a false idea or belief about my body that I realized a long time ago is not working anyway.  I guess it is supposedly polite to not let your rolls hang out, to conform to the "Standard" of a flat stomach and smooth upper back.  I honestly was really shocked to find out that my skinny friends have rolls too and we are all forcing ourselves to embrace this false idea of our bodies so that we might somehow impress people who do not care because they do not know you or like you or they love you for you.  If you have not experienced this or come to grips with this truth, I am forewarning you so that you will not have a rude awakening only to one day look at a photograph or in a full length mirror to have your ego crushingly illuminated to see clearly that your optical illusion is no illusion at all. I experienced that and it does not feel good.

Friends, I want to go girdle-less and avoid this underlying sense of body shaming that we have invested hundreds of dollars into.  I want to go girdle-less and stop attempting to create these optical illusions of "inches off " without eating right or going to the gym.  I want to go girdle-less and let it all hang out!

I want to go girdle-less...  that is my goal .  And one day, after doing the work, I will get there again because there really is nothing like being completely FREE!

Blessings, Glory, and Sunshine!!!

#100PoundsOfExcuses: When Monday Becomes Thursday or any other Day of the Week

Posted on September 29, 2016 at 6:15 AM Comments comments (0)

BlogFam - 
On Monday, I posted this video.  You can watch it here and then keep reading because I have more to say...

I just wanted to add to my video ramblings that it really is hard to start over every week. When I recorded that video, it was Monday.  But Monday can be Thursday or Tuesday or Friday for that matter.  Monday can become any other day of the week that represents your new beginning.  I say that because while many will recommit themselves to a new diet and fitness regimen on a Monday morning, others recommit on the first day of the month or on the first day of a corporate fast or on so many days before their birthday or some other significant upcoming event.  When Monday becomes another day of the week, it really is OK because the main point is that you have gotten started, recommitted yourself to your health and wellness, albeit, again and again and again....  Celebrate the re-commitment no matter how many times this has been for you!

And please know that as I say this to you, I admit that I have "recommitted" myself to starting over on way too many Mondays, or Mondays that have been other days, to count.  You do not have to feel bad about that although we typically do.  We tend to start from a guilty mind space because we feel so bad about starting over yet AGAIN and it can crush our spirits before we even really get started...AGAIN.  But, my friends, I am reminded as I write these words that God's mercies are new EVERY morning.  GREAT is God's faithfulness!  If God's mercies are new EVERY morning then it matters not the Monday or the Monday that has become some other day of the week, focus on the NEW mercies of this NEW day.  And even if your desire is not weight release and you want to recommit to some other healthy or intellectually stimulating or spiritual growth practice that will help you to live a better life, then you, too, can focus on the NEW mercies.

Let the guilt go!
Let the guilt go! 
Let the guilt go!
And start over... AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN because the mercy of God will be NEW every morning you are graced with the breath of life.

Blessings, Glory, and Sunshine!!!

#100PoundsOfExcuses: Introduction

Posted on September 21, 2016 at 12:34 PM Comments comments (1)


BlogFam, I do not know what has gotten into me. I know that it has been way too long since I have written a series and now I feel deeply compelled to offer this new series, inviting you into my private struggle.  Not too long ago, a person very near and dear to my heart suggested that I allow you all to walk with me on my journey of physical transformation and weight release.  I have to be honest with you.  I did not want to.  I was way too embarrassed to open my mouth to speak about it even though people only needed to open their eyes to see it.  Then, over the last nearly two months, the Lord has been intentionally and intensely preparing me for a new assignment and part of my preparation is to be excellent in the care of my temple.  

I strive for excellence in everything.  I put my best foot forward in my writing, preaching, ministry opportunities, in my friendships, and scholarship; but when it comes to the care of my temple, I have privately struggled with everything about it.  What about you?  Is there anything in your life that you privately struggle with that has you frustrated or embarrassed to talk about.  My weight is my "thing."  And I have come to the place where I have tried so many different options, including prayer and exercise and eating right and since I am still struggling, I am going to add ONE more thing to this process.  TESTIMONY.

Now, you might think that is not a big deal, but for me, it is.  I do NOT like to have conversations with ANYONE about my weight, my dress size, my breast size, my shortness of breath, my emotional food rewards, or the games I play in my own head with myself about how wide I really am.  And frankly, I am tired of seeing the AFTER pictures and celebrations of people who NEVER really tell you  the whole truth about their journey to fitness.  So, I am breaking my silence.  The Word says we OVERCOME by the blood of the Lamb AND the word of our TESTIMONY, so I am going to TESTIFY in advance about the good, the bad, the depressing, the embarrassing thoughts and experiences I have had along this journey. 

I testify so that I will OVERCOME and not allow the enemy to keep playing tricks with my eyes and in my mind about how important it is for me to BE physically healthy.... NOT skinny.... Healthy.  AND I know that there are so many people who are struggling with their own "THING" and have no one to relate to because most people wait until the battle is over to shout.  I am breaking that paradigm and my own silence.  I am letting you all in in a way that pushes me to be vulnerable and transparent when I would much rather be quiet.  Yet, I know that in one of my next Kingdom assignments, my own transparency with my testimony will be a critical factor for men and women to come to know Jesus in the pardon of their sins.  So, here we go...

BlogFam, I do not know where to begin only because I have so much to say.  I have so many stories about these #100PoundsOfExcuses that I honestly do not know where to begin.  Pause...

Let me just start by saying this.  I am not a personal trainer so I will likely not be giving food or exercise tips.  I just want to expose the internal battlefield of my mind between me and food.  For example, one of the things that I absolutely hate is when people ask me what I ate for the day.  I hate it.  And yes, I admit, that might be due to my own sensitivity concerning food and the judgments that I know people make about thick girls such as myself but still, please do not ever ask me that question.  If I choose to share what I ate or if we are dining together in a restaurant, then that conversation is not off limits and is OK.  Proceed with caution.  There is only ONE person on the earth who can ask and I am really cool with it and she knows who she is.  If I have never had that conversation with you, then it is not you.  So, don't ask me that.  As I go forward, I may or may not get to the place where it is not a big deal, but in this season, I will not ask you and you most definitely do not need to ask me.  I know this sounds so weird to some of you but it is where I am.  I have so many different things going on in my own mind around food and weight and my size that responding to your inquiries feel like sticks and stones.  

Friends, we are going deep.  This is going to be that kind of series.  And you will probably find out way more than you wanted to know about this "Woman of God."  But my priority is not your comfort but that through my transparency, you will also experience your own breakthrough and healing for whatever your thing is and that we would ALL eliminate our own excuses for embracing excellence in every area of our lives!!!

So, please "LIKE" the Facebook page: and pray with me as I pray for you!  I will be writing this blog as well as sharing videos and we shall see how God will work through it all...